Is therapy right for you?
The decision to enter therapy can often be both difficult and confusing. There is no foolproof way to tell if you need therapy. Occasional feelings of depression or anxiety are common, but for most people these symptoms go away after a while. Often simply discussing these feelings with a close friend, family member, a member of the clergy, or someone else whom you respect can be helpful. However, if depression, anxiety or self-defeating behaviors continue over time, or if they interfere with your functioning at work, school or within your family, consider consulting with a therapist. If conflicts or struggles in communication with your spouse, partner, family or other important people are causing stress in your life, therapy can be helpful. If you are “on the fence” about starting therapy or unclear about the next steps to improve your life, an initial consultation with a therapist can help you clarify which aspects of your life are unsatisfying and consider all the options available to start on the path toward a more satisfying life.
How to choose a therapist?
Many people delay seeking therapy because they are unclear how to choose a therapist that will be right for them or their family. It can be quite scary to talk with a stranger about very intimate problems, especially if you’re not sure whether they can be helpful to you. When choosing a therapist I suggest you consider two important criteria: the competence of the therapist, and, if you feel comfortable with him or her as a person. Both are quite important. You may see a competent therapist who even specializes in your particular area of difficulty, but if you don’t feel comfortable with him or her, it will be difficult to openly discuss important issues. On the other hand, you may feel comfortable with the therapist and even enjoy the sessions, but if he or she doesn’t have sufficient training and experience, you may not make progress toward your goals.
I recommend that you ask friends, family and your physician for recommendations for therapists. When you initially contact the therapist, ask them about their training and experience with the particular problem you are struggling with. I often recommend that clients set up initial appointments with more than one therapist. After taking time to discuss your situation, ask the therapist about his/her perspective and what initial impressions he/she has about addressing your problem. Obviously it will take a therapist more than one session to develop an in-depth understanding of your difficulties, but by the end of the first session you should get a sense of your general comfort level with the therapist and whether their initial treatment plan makes sense to you. If you are not satisfied with the interaction in the first visit, you should feel free to find another therapist. Therapists generally understand that they can not be all things to all people, and will give you referrals to other therapists whom they think might make a better “fit” for you.